Infertility and social media

By Rozina Palaiologou, Cognitive Behavioral Therapist

When opening up social media, you will definitely get a post from a follower on pregnancy. There are many times when we see fotos from a baby’s first ultrasound, from his first photograph in the maternity ward, dads in tender pose. So we not only learn the news but we see it unfolding in front of us by all means.

Pain, anger and jealousy are common feelings. This is because it is human, without making us bad friends and ungrateful people. Have you thought of blocking them all? Unsubscribe from social media? Probably yes, but it provokes so much isolation.

How handle these situations so they will not touch upon your sensitivities? The personal matter of infertility.

1) Disconnect.

You are not the only one who suffers day after day watching babies of friends being born, women complaining about how tired but also happy they are with their newborns etc. Unfortunately, we see the “happy” lives of our friends as opposed to ours ” misery, “and in this case a life without a baby. We need to take a break from this habit. We should try to stand for a little while without checking the instagram and facebook.

2) Hide posts from specific people.

If you have a friend who constantly shares all the news of her pregnancy or of her child ‘s care. Which is not a rare phenomenon nowadays. It would be a good idea to turn the arrangements so that you do not see whether you want them or not .

3) Replace baby pictures with animals and flowers.

On specific browsers, there is the Rather expansion extension. It replaces the baby pictures that friends upload with other pictures so that we do not get upset with another post!

4) Proper management of what we say and to whom.

It is not always a good idea to share all the details of trying for a child with friends who also face infertility. We can hear “advice” and opinions that do not help and aren’t safe for us. In addition, it is important that we can explain to our best friend how far we are bound to hear news about her child. It is useful to to express our need for support and what we really need.

5) Connect with people in the same situation with you.

Infertility often leads to isolation. It is very useful to find groups of people who understand what you are going through. But with caution! In forums or on such groups on social media about infertility,  the risk of disinformation exists. For instance, there are a lot of unreliable information spread around IVF. Read our reliable article about IVF, myths and truths.

6) Take care of yourself.

When overwhelmed by emotions in the attempt to become parent and the suffering of dealing with infertility, we often forget to take care of ourselves. Let us remember what we did to relax and let’s keep it as long as we can (eg massage, relaxation on the couch, reading, music, proper gymnastics, etc.)

7) See the big image.

When we see our friend’s baby, when we hear about a new pregnancy, we feel jealous, angry, sorrow. But let’s keep in mind that they are about a part of another persons life but not his whole life and choices.

Let’s keep in mind that people in the social media show us what they want us to see, not the difficult parts of their lives (intra-family quarrels, problems at work, etc.). Shiny smiles are a part of life , not the whole life. Same as infertility and social media.

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